Secondary Infertility & Neurodivergence

Secondary infertility is when a woman who has previously given birth now finds it difficult to conceive again. Unlike primary infertility, where conception has never occurred, secondary infertility can be even more frustrating because it is unexpected. Many women feel isolated, guilty, or even ashamed—questioning what has changed since their last pregnancy.

But secondary infertility is more common than most people realise. And it is not just about physical health—it encompasses emotional, psychological, and even past trauma that may unknowingly be blocking conception

Secondary Infertility doesn’t have to define your future. With the right support, you can recover and regain control of your life.  

"When I met Sam, she was caring and asked all the right questions.  I felt guilt and shame for terminating my baby but I was young and it wasn't the right time.  I held that for so long.  Sam gave me the confidence to give myself permission to let the guilt go.  I cannot tell you just how much of a weight that was lifted off me."

In addition to my work with birth trauma, I am also qualified to support individuals with neurodivergent conditions, including Aphantasia, SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory), Alexithymia, and similar conditions. These conditions can affect the way trauma is processed and recalled, making it crucial to tailor the therapy approach for each individual.

My expertise allows me to provide compassionate, effective treatment for those who might otherwise struggle to find the right support.  

Understanding the intricate connections between trauma, memory, and emotional expression allows me to provide a compassionate and effective approach for those who may experience trauma differently due to these neurodivergent conditions.

Aphantasia: The Inability to Visualise

• People with aphantasia cannot form mental images in their mind’s eye.
• They may struggle with guided visualisations, often used in therapy.
• Memories may feel like facts rather than vivid, emotional experiences.
• Trauma may be felt physically or as a deep knowing, rather than as a visual flashback.
• With secondary infertility, past pregnancies may feel disconnected, making it difficult to emotionally process why this time is different.

SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory): The Absence of a ‘Life Story’

• People with SDAM cannot mentally relive past experiences in a way that others can.
• They remember facts and details but lack emotional re-experiencing of past events.
• Trauma may not feel like a painful memory but rather an ongoing, unexplained emotional reaction to an event they can’t "feel" happened.
• Secondary infertility may be particularly frustrating because past pregnancy is not a strong emotional reference point—it happened, but it doesn’t feel personal.

Alexithymia: The Difficulty in Identifying and Expressing Emotions

• People with alexithymia struggle to recognise, name, or describe their emotions.
• They often feel disconnected from their emotional state, making it difficult to process trauma.
• They may experience physical symptoms of distress (tension, nausea, headaches) but be unable to link them to emotions.
• In secondary infertility, this can make the emotional toll feel isolating, as others may expect them to articulate their pain in ways they simply cannot.

I understand that trauma and infertility struggles live differently in a neurodivergent mind. That’s why I tailor my approach, focusing on body-based, sensory, and cognitive techniques that work with your unique way of experiencing the world.

Whether you’re processing birth trauma, navigating secondary infertility, or both, your experience deserves a different kind of support—one that doesn’t assume you think, feel, or remember the way others do.

If you’ve ever felt that therapy doesn’t work for you or that trauma support isn’t built for the way your brain processes memories and emotions, I want you to know you’re not broken—therapy just needs to be adapted to you.

If this resonates with you, reach out. You deserve support that makes sense for your mind.

It’s important to understand that birth trauma is not something you have to live with, and it’s certainly not your fault. Similarly, the heartbreak of secondary infertility (especially when it is intertwined with a past traumatic birth experience) can feel overwhelming, isolating, and deeply unfair.

Your experience is valid. If you are struggling with distressing memories from birth or facing the unexpected challenge of struggling to conceive again, know that what you are feeling is real, and it matters. The emotional weight of secondary infertility can be intensified by unresolved trauma, lingering fears, or a deep sense of disconnection from your body.

Whether you have just begun to acknowledge the impact of trauma or have been carrying it for years, there is a way forward. Together, we will address the trauma at its root, so you can move forward with peace and confidence, reconnecting with yourself, your body, and your hopes for the future.